We’ve all heard of the famous saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” right? This saying has, in its own way, helped define countless numbers of relationships. Many couples have broken up because of infidelity. Some have even broken up with only one incidence of cheating damaging their relationship, while there are also those who’ve tolerated their partners cheating on them but still ended up separated in the end.
Cheating, infidelity, extramarital affairs, third parties – whatever you call it, it is, unfortunately, very common and very hurtful. It can happen to the best of relationships, causing it to fall apart and end up in separation or divorce. They end up hurting each other and traumatized by the experience.
Below are the three common consequences of infidelity.
A Blow to the Self-Esteem
It doesn’t matter if you’re the most beautiful person in the world, but if your partner cheated on you, you’ll feel the opposite. Your self-esteem drops; and you feel unattractive. After all that you’ve done to keep the relationship going strong, your partner still wasn’t satisfied with you and found another woman. You tend to blame yourself for what happened, causing you to hurt more. If you don’t know how to handle problems very well, it’ll be very hard for you to get back up from the fall. Depression can easily kick in, making it much harder for you to recover from the painful experience.
However, if you are the strong type with a positive attitude, you can use what happened for your own good. Make yourself look good, not to get him back but to look and feel beautiful for yourself. This can also serve as a lesson for you when it comes to love.
Infidelity also causes cracks in the relationship. After all, how would you be able to trust your partner again, knowing he’s cheated on you? Even if he’s promised not to do it again, at the back of your mind, there will always be the questions of “what if he’ll do it again?” or “what if he’s doing it again right now?” These questions can make the relationship even worse.
Exchange of Hurtful Words
Of course, there will always be an exchange of hurtful words. You’ll try to hurt him with your words as much as he’s hurt you with his actions. This could lead to shouting matches and more exchanges of painful, hurtful, and damaging words. If you have children, your angry exchanges with your spouse can traumatize them.
Mending the Rift
If you truly believe you can get past the problem, then do so, especially if you have children. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your partner; go to couple’s therapy; renew your vows; examine your relationship; and promise to be partners again. The important thing is that the infidelity won’t happen again, and the children will have a complete family.
However, if the rift can no longer be mended, then it’s high-time to consider separation or divorce. It’s much more painful and very expensive, but if it’s the only decision left, then do so. There are skilled divorce lawyers who can help you with the divorce process and the property issues associated with it.
Jennifer Danby guest blogs for a Divorce Attorney in Fairfax. She specializes in relationship articles, sharing tips and advice for a healthier relationship.