There are many reasons we attend parties and functions. Often, let’s be honest, it’s because we have to and we don’t have any choice in the matter. For instance you might well find yourself being required to go to a launch party or a corporate event being hosted by your office and this isn’t something you can decide to just back out of. Then there’s the sense of obligation we might feel to a friend throwing a birthday party, and the amount of trouble you’d be in if you didn’t go to your parent’s silver anniversary.
At the same time though we might go to functions and parties because we want too – there’s nothing to say you have to go to engagement parties when you don’t know the person that well, and there’s no need to throw your own birthday party if you don’t want to. In such cases then we often go because we do want to, and we might feel that way because we hope it’s going to be sociable and fun, or often because we hope we might meet a member of the opposite sex.
That latter point of course often doesn’t come to fruition, and there are actually very few people who have really met at parties. Often though this is just because we don’t know how to approach members of the opposite sex and how to take advantage of the opportunities, so where we will look at ways you can increase those chances and actually start meeting people – and maybe even enjoying those parties you’d rather not go to…
Survey the Room
First of all you should try to scope out the situation and see how the land lies. You will right away hopefully notice some people who you’re interested in and who look like they might be interested back, and this then allows you to create a game plan.
At the same time if you can assess the situation like this from a far and scan the cocktail party venue/bar/hall then you’ll be able to suss out early on where you have the best chance. Try making eye contact with a few people and maybe shooting them a smile and you will notice some people reciprocate by holding your gaze and smiling back while others look away.
While this isn’t a guarantee by any means, the people who hold your gaze show that they’re at very least not offended by your interest so they will be relatively safe options to pursue and you can improve your batting average right away.
Be the Life and the Soul of the Party
A mistake lots of people make is to try to pick people up by relentless pursuing the objects of their desire and singling them off. This makes people uncomfortable and it sets you up for a fall, so instead just try to act fun and desirable. That means being sociable and merging groups so that you can chat and move through the group. This makes you more desirable to the people watching and at the same time can get the competitive nature of your intended party working for you. Only later on then should you single them out and make an excuse to be alone with them by asking if they want to get a drink for instance.
The author of the article, Richard Thomas is a freelance writer and event planner.