Divorce is never an easy thing for the adults. In the midst of the stressful proceedings however, it is easy for the adults, and their attorneys, to forget that there are little ones involved. The children are the ones that are suffering the most from this divorce, regardless of what the parents think.
There is a lot of emotion involved during divorce proceedings. Tempers may fly, and personalities may change out of anger, frustration or sadness. It is not uncommon for communications between spouses to stop, and for lawyers to become the intermediaries.
Direct communication may stop between you and your spouse, but if in the southern region of the US, Orlando Florida divorce lawyers can relay any required information.
Your child does not have this benefit. For their welfare, it is important to pay extra attention to them to recognize the signs of emotional distress, and know what you can do to prevent this from happening.
Signs To Watch Out For
- Eating patterns: Watch to see if your child is under eating or over eating as a coping mechanism.
- Plummeting grades: Children who are stressed out or emotionally distraught will not do well in school.
- Withdrawal from friends and family: Spending a lot of time alone, and not engaging in normal conversation.
- Excessive sleep: Excessive sleeping is a classic sign of depression, and a way for children to withdraw from a bad situation.
- Angry outbursts: As a child, they don’t have tools to manage overwhelming emotions so they may have angry irrational outbursts.
What Parents Can Do To Help Prevent Or Fix These Issues
- Talk to your children about the separation and assure them that it is not their fault. A majority of children believe if they would have acted better, gotten better grades, or performed some miraculous task, their parents would have stayed together. If possible, this conversation would be better suited for both parents to do at the same time.
- Do not go into details of the divorce. Regardless of their age or the reason for the divorce, do not include them in all the details. Your children need to be your children, not your confidant. Keep the sordid details a private matter between you and your spouse. Make sure that you request that your former spouse does the same thing.
- Assure them that they will always be loved. Many children interpret divorce as a sign that love does not last. As children need stability, haggling over visitation rights may worry them, and add concern that they may not be wanted.
- Work as a team to make living arrangements. Going from having 2 parents to just 1 may be traumatizing. This may take emotional control on both parents’ parts, but if you work out the arrangements as a team, it is easier for the children to accept.
- Seek professional counseling if you feel that your intervention is not enough to help your children cope with this situation.
In the end, it is important that both parents set their emotions aside and always consider what is best for the children. Yes, both parents are emotionally distraught also, but they are the adults in this situation and must put these feelings aside. No one wants to experience a divorce, especially the children. Always try to make sure that the children’s feelings are not forgotten during the chaos of getting divorced.
Teresa Stewart is a free-lance writer and caregiver who believes children’s emotions should be handled delicately during divorce. If going through a divorce, choose an Orlando Florida divorce lawyer such as those at Katz & Phillips, P.A. who understand this is an emotional time for the family. They have a Divorce Team that works toward a fair outcome even when faced with multiple types of complexities including child custody disputes.