We all want to find a happy, loving relationship. It is pretty great to share your life with someone and have that one person who you feel you can take on the world with. And as with anything great and worth pursuing, it can often be a bumpy road to getting there, going through lots of false-starts before finding your right match. But, with a little perseverance and work on ourselves, we can make the search a bit easier.
Realize All Your Bad Relationships Have One Common Denominator: YOU
This one might sting a bit but it is true. The only thing all our relationships have in common is us, so if you are one of those women who say you only meet jerks or losers or one of those men who seems to end up with various incarnations of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, you are doing something to bring these people into your life over and over. This is not to lay blame and say you deserve your relationship woes, this is to empower you; it is not better to know we are responsible for our troubles and that we are the solution as well? Much preferable to victim mentality and being at the hands of the cruel force of fate. By examining your past relationships and seeing where you are contributing, you can break the pattern. If you always date losers or people who treat you badly, there is a part of you that thinks that is what you deserve, for example. Sounds crazy but the part of our minds that calls the shots of our life is not rational. Take a good hard look and you can fix the problem; that is good news.
Think About What You Want and Forget Everyone Else
You will never find the right person for you if you take anything else into consideration other than what you truly want and who would truly make you happy. It is natural to want friends and family to like our significant others but caucusing with them about every possible relationship candidate or letting them influence you in a way that prevents you from doing what you truly want will be detrimental. A life lived based on what everyone else has deemed ‘’good’’ or ‘’appropriate’’ will not be a happy life if it is counter to everything you want for yourself. And when I talk about this, I am not talking about dismissing concerns expressed if your partner has serious issues that can endanger your physical and mental well-being, I am talking about them not liking someone because she is not the same religion or because he does not have a fancy job.
Get Clear on What You Want and Believe You Can Get It
Lack of clarity about what we want, along with not truly believing we can ever have it, is a recipe for disaster when it comes to a happy life. We spend so much time complaining about what we do not want and focusing on what we do not like and we think this is the same thing as getting clear on what we do. But, this is not the same thing..far from it, trust me. What we focus on expands and if all you ever talk about is what type of people you do not want, complain about past relationships, say how all guys are jerks and all women are crazy and the like, you will continue to perpetuate your romantic woes. Get clear on what you want in a relationship, what type of person is your best match. Then, believe you will get it in some way, shape or form. Do not worry about ‘’how.’’ Just focus on the ‘’what.’’ If you are 50 and over and looking for your ideal match, a senior dating agency may be just the ticket.