All marriages don’t end well, despite all the wishful thoughts in the world. Similarly, not all divorces have to end badly either. With some practical thinking and by having our feet firmly planted on the ground, it’s possible to avoid messy divorces which leave a lastingly bad impression. There are some simple ways by which you can avoid divorce and hence the sequel, damaging consequences.
For example, people who have never married may jest that the best way to not get divorced is to not get married in the first place. In a weird way, that makes sense; even though it would be hard to find anyone to go on record with that. Alternatively, you could try your best to make the marriage work. There are an endless variety of books, television shows and online guides to help you overcome any sort of challenges in a relationship. There are marriage counsellors making a killing, even as they help out couples to somehow go back to how things were.
These are all things that may work for you and they may not. If things don’t work out, then you need a parachute that will save you when you bail out. That parachute has the word ‘pre-nuptial agreement’ written on it.
The idea behind a pre-nuptial agreement or pre-nup for short, is to safeguard the financial interests of both the parties. Let us look at the various stages of marriage and after for a standard issue married couple.
Two individuals, each with their own set of financial assets. They have earned these assets by a variety of means. Inheritance or personal earnings or prize money from a contest. Then, they get married and during this union of theirs, they earn financial assets. Then, after a while, they decide to part ways. You have to note the usage of the term ‘financial assets’. We are using it as a collective term to include everything that has some financial and emotional value to the individuals and the couple.
Before they married, their assets would belong to their individual asset pool. Once they got married, anything that they earned, goes to the combined pool. This combined pool also includes the assets of their individual pools. When they decide to go separate ways, it becomes difficult to tell, which portion of the pool belongs to whom. That is where divorces get problematic. The pre-nup, solves this problem by specifying clearly, how much of the pool was owned by each individual. It is a legally binding document which goes into deep specifics about each financial asset.
The biggest challenge of pre-nups is communication. All relationships have these moments called as ‘awkward moments’. These moments are situations like running into your ex with your current partner or having to meet your in-laws for the first time where nothing is going as planned. Bringing up the topic of a pre-nup is a guaranteed way of manufacturing this awkward moment. The issue here is that, whoever brings up the topic of pre-nup, the other person might get a feeling that the meaning of the relationship is being undermined. The very fact that the topic of pre-nup has been brought up illustrates that there exists a sense of doubt in the mind and hence a chink in the relationship’s armour.
Unfortunately, there is no other way to go about it. You need a pre-nup, then you simply go ahead and have a frank conversation about it. We believe that pre-nups actually make a relationship stronger as against the other way around.
Engage A Divorce Attorney
Divorce attorneys don’t just work on finalizing divorces. They do other things as well. For example, they do a lot of settlement related negotiations with the other party, to avoid making a divorce agreement go beyond the law offices and spill over to the court. Along with that, these lawyers also help you come up with a pre-nup agreement. They can explain all the terms, what should be included and what should not be. They will also explain what to do in the event of a divorce.
Some attorneys, go to the extra step of sitting down with the couple and explaining to them, why they should get a pre-nup. If you are the person who is bringing up the topic of pre-nup, you could have your lawyer speak to your partner. There is always something about a professional such as the attorney explains legal concepts that people seem to get. Attorneys like these are the ones you should be working with.
The author recommends a prenuptial agreement for everyone. The lawyers who helped him understand the concept clearly are the folks at DJP Solicitors.