It’s horrible when a friend loses someone close to them because you don’t know what to do. You want them to feel better, but how are you going to do it? We’re going to take a look at some of the things you must keep in mind when dealing with your friend if you want their life to get back to normal as quickly as possible.
Don’t be afraid to mention their name
Just because someone has gone doesn’t mean you can’t mention their name in conversation. You might be scared to do this because it will upset your friend, but it might have the opposite effect. They could be upset because you’re trying to pretend the deceased never existed. You obviously don’t have to drop their name all the time, but don’t try to bury it and your friend will appreciate it.
Phone them regularly
When someone dies you should obviously phone them to offer your condolences. This is what everyone does, but after they make the first phone call they don’t follow it up with another one. Letting them know you’re thinking about them is nice, but offering ongoing support is even better. They might not phone you because they don’t want to burden you with their problems, but they’d still like to speak to you.
Speak about the good times
Hopefully you knew the deceased because it’s going to be easier to cheer your friend up. You can speak about some of the good times you had with them before they died. Did they used to do something that made everyone laugh? Did they have any habits you used to joke about? Celebrating someone’s life with great anecdotes will make your friend happy.
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Help out when needed
Your friend might have lost someone very close to them like a husband or wife. That means they are used to having someone help out around the house. You might need to offer to help out with a few things until they get their life under control again. If everything ends up getting on top of them their life could spiral out of control, so be there to lend a helping hand when needed.
Keep them active
Try to take them out of the house at least once per week. They will probably be too lazy to do anything and they could get caught in a vicious cycle. You don’t need to do anything crazy, so a walk around the park would be fine. Get them speaking to other people because sometimes people who are grieving try to shut themselves away from the world.
Don’t try to give too much advice
Definitely offer them advice when they ask for it. I’m not trying to say you should never give them advice, but you should be there to listen to them more than anything else. Sometimes it’s not easy to listen to someone without giving them advice, but you must try. They probably already know everything you could tell them anyway and they just want to talk.
When people are grieving they might end up getting angry and sometimes they take their anger out on their closest friends. This is where you need to be strong because it can be quite upsetting. You’re trying to help someone out and they are directing their anger towards you. They can’t control their emotions, so unfortunately you’ll have to be the one to stay calm.
They will eventually get better
People die all the time and everyone gets over it. It might take a few weeks or months, but your friend will be able to start living their life again. You just need to stick around to help them during this tough time.
The author of today’s post, John Cane, works as an accountant. He writes for All State Cremation, a company offering cheap cremation services in Connecticut. He is a diligent employee and he takes his family on long drives and road trips when he gets free from work.